In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
