Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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