Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
