ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
