You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
