paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
