There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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