It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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