I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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