And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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