im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
two words: eviction party
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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