I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
