This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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