Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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