You work out of a Hotel?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
