You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
