just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
