Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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