Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
