You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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