Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
