i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
