i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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