oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When did angry sex become our thing?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
