Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
