I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
