I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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