Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
