lets start a swedish sibling band together
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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