Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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