My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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