: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
