Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
