I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
