Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
