Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
