also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
