I would go down on you faster than GM stock
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
