dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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