I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
