i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize