I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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