Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
