I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
