New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
