so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
