Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
