margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize