are you so shy because you have an std?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
