It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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