zippers are such a cool invention
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
