U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
