fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
A+ Viking dick
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
