does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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