Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
