Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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