you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
