lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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