Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
