Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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