another moral hangover. fuck.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
