Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
