Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
