So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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