remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
