you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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