he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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