remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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