I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize