Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
