clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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