What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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