By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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