5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
