he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
