I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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