Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
