Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
