She is in my trunk
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize