awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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