she said she was living bicuriously through me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
