If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
nutella sex= disaster
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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