This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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